AimeeKay's Reviews & Other Awesome Randomness!: Wanted Dead or Alive: The Malicious “Merry Mermaid” Pirates

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Wanted Dead or Alive: The Malicious “Merry Mermaid” Pirates

Thank to AimeeKay for inviting me to be part of the 900^th annual Talk Like a Pirate blog event! (I may be mistaken about the “900^th annual” part.)

Since there are some sneaky mermaid pirates in my book Fairyland, I thought I’d share the text from one of the “wanted” posters you might find around Faerie, especially in the southern ports by the Southward Sea.

If you catch the pirates, you could win 100 silver coins! If not, you could still win books 1-4 of my Songs of Magic series—Fairy Metal Thunder, Fairy Blues, Fairystruck, and Fairyland. AimeeKay will tell you how to enter!

Wanted Dead or Alive:

The Malicious “Merry Mermaid” Pirates

Let it be known across all of Faerie (and above, below, and beside it) that the werewalruses, squiddites, ravenous otters, selkies and other fisher-folk of Zarmof have posted a reward of

100 SILVER DARLINGS

for the reward, capture, or severed tailfins of those salacious sirens of the sea, the singing scourges of sailors, the miscreants of marine-related mayhem, the vagabonds and ne’er-do-wells occasionally known as the “Merry Mermaids.”

Said to beautiful and buxom beasts, the mermaids distract the innocent with songs of love and peace whilst robbing the unsuspecting sea-goer of his baubles, bullion, beer, and/or freshly caught bluefish.

Though charming and chatty creatures, these mermaids are only interested in that which glitters and glimmers. These bloodthirsty beauties carry out their piratical perfidy at the tips of swordfish sabers, the blunt end of hammerhead clubs, and also sea sponges, which don’t sound all that dangerous but can be quite scratchy.

The mermaids have been seen porting at the Pirate Peninsula, anchoring at the Aardvark Aarchipelago, and sailing the Salty Sea. They should be considered extremely dangerous, and should not approached without an angry mob armed with weapons and nets, as well as torches if you really want to look like a proper angry mob.

Capture of these mermaids will bring the above-mentioned reward, as well as free snacks at the Sugar Swamp Shack down by the docks. Also, lots and lots of free fish.

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Aha what do I spy with my pirate eye! Avast it's another pirate chest! Let's open it and see what it holds....